Never Alone
by Trekkin Thru Life
Summary: Its 2012 on earth and high school students James T. Kirk and Spock Grayson are fighting for their lives. An AU slash fic Update: March 2012. I've found an amazing beta IvyRose who will be assiting me with editing. Look forward to new and improved chapters. Chapters 1-15 are new and improved! Thank you IvyRose! 16-end should be done by the end of June
1. Chapter 1

One

"…And this is our recreational room."

Spock and his parents followed Sally, the Registered Nurse who was acting as their tourguide, as she led them down the hall to a brightly-decorated, cheerful room.

Peering into the room filled mostly with toddlers, Spock's mother asked, "Are there any patients closer to Spock's age?" Spock fought the urge to roll his eyes: Even when touring a medical facility, his mother was obsessing over his socialization with his peers -or the lack thereof.

"At this time not many, but—JAMES T. KIRK!" Sally broke off, turning suddenly and drawing all eyes in the room to a tall blond crouching behind a young girl who appeared to be no older than six.

"Oh no, Rosie! I've been spotted!" He poked her playfully in the stomach, "I thought you could hide?"

"You're too big, Jamie." She giggled, her hands pressed over her mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound.

"Jim, does Nurse Chapel know you're here?"

The boy, roughly Spock's own age, turned to Sally with an innocent smile. He had shocking blue eyes, eyes that were as clear and bright as the Caribbean Sea. Spock realized he knew those eyes, the blond hair, and the not-so-innocent smile. They had sat in the same classroom the previous year, every weekday, in Astronomy I. Spock realized that he had not seen the boy at school this year since the term had started two weeks ago.

"Well, it was just a little visit…" Jim said. "I'll probably be released tomorrow anyway, and I just had to say goodbye to Rosie and my friends."

Sally snorted, clearly not impressed with Jim's response.

"Jim isn't here for the oncology program, but he's what we'd call a regular visitor." Sally gave Spock a quick glance up and down. "He's about your age, Spock," she said. "You're seventeen right, Jim?"

"Yes, I am. My birthday was last month," he felt compelled to add.

"Seventeen and quite the nuisance," Sally turned to Mr. and Mrs. Grayson. "Jim doesn't like to rest in his room, even when it's for his own good." She glared at Jim pointedly. "He prefers to visit the other patients. The kids are quite taken with him though," she admitted.

Jim ignored the discussion, staring at Spock, who was beginning to feel uneasy under the intense scrutiny.

"I know you," he said dragging an IV pole behind him as moved closer to inspect Spock.

"Indeed."

"Yeah…yeah, you were in my astronomy class last year, fifth period. The only other person who knew the difference between a black hole and a wormhole."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "It's rather elementary."

Jim smiled, revealing perfect white teeth. "Well, maybe to you and me. Whatcha doing in a place like this?"

Spock stiffened ever so slightly. Most people wouldn't have noticed if they didn't know him."I do not wish to have my personal life broadcasted to the school."

Jim laughed. "You don't think I can keep a secret? All right, I'll find out soon enough anyway. And since I know you're curious, even though you won't share your secret, I'll share mine." He leaned in close to Spock's ear and whispered in a voice loud enough for the room to hear, "I have cardiomyopathy."

Spock once again repressed the desire to roll his eyes. "I am well aware of this fact. Janice Rand has sobbed publicly enough on your behalf."

Jim shrugged. "It doesn't seem worth hiding. Besides, I had to explain why I dropped lacrosse mid-year as a freshman…. and gym."

Amanda Grayson was beaming, watching the exchange between the two teenagers. While Spock often lacked social grace and most people would perceive his behavior as rude, he really was teasing Jim and Jim had caught on to the friendly banter.

She sobered quickly hearing about Jim's poor health and asked, "Does your heart problem keep you here?"

"Not often, thankfully, I just have-" he paused searching for the right word, "—'episodes' sometimes. I'm getting over a respiratory infection right now." Mrs. Grayson nodded.

"And his heart," interrupted Sally, "can't take on the extra work a respiratory infection brings, which is all the more reason you should be in your room resting, Jim. I suspect the Grayson's would like to finish their tour. Now go, or I'll tell Dr. McCoy you left your room without permission." Jim waved her off dismissively and headed to the door.

"Going now. See you later Rosie girl." He blew the little girl a kiss. "Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Grayson. Bye, Spock, maybe I'll see you around in Astronomy II."

Spock stood with one eyebrow raised, watching Jim as he headed back to his room stopping every few feet to talk to a pretty nurse or another patient he met along the way.

"Will he be all right?" Amanda asked. "He seems like such a sweet young man."

"Oh, he's being released tomorrow, although I'm not sure if Dr. McCoy told him yet. He gets very worked up when it's time to leave."

"You make it sound as if this happens often."

"Unfortunately he'll eventually be back again. I imagine he will need a heart transplant at some point…" she trailed off. "But you, Mr. Spock, won't have to be admitted for your treatment. You'll be an outpatient."

Sally led the small family on, but Spock only half-listened. He had already met with Dr. M'Benga. He would come to the hospital three days a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. On Saturdays he would come in the early morning and, on the weekdays at three fifteen. His treatment would last roughly two and a half hours and then he would be able to leave. Dr. M'Benga had high hopes that this particular chemotherapy would successfully treat his leukemia. Leukemia which had been in remission for the past eleven years.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jim was released on Friday. After two days off, he was finally able to start the new school term-two weeks late, but he was there. However he didn't see Spock. Maybe Spock had decided not to take Astronomy II, but if he were in school at all, Jim was pretty sure he would have seen him walking through the halls or in the cafeteria at lunch. He wondered if Spock's recent health crisis was to blame for his absence, but found himself too far behind in his classes to give the matter too much thought.

"I am more than capable of attending school today, as I have every day for the past eleven years," Spock told his mother.

"I am well aware of that, Spock. But because this is your first treatment, I want to make sure everything goes okay. Besides," she smiled at him, "It's a mother's job to fuss over her son."

Spock suppressed a sigh as his mother drove him to his first appointment. While he did not wish to alarm her, or even admit it to himself, he was secretly glad she was with him. Although he knew it was irrational, he was more than a little frightened. He did not remember much of his first battle with cancer, and what little he could recall was not pleasant. He remembered feeling small, in pain, and helpless. He had vague and confusing impressions of doctors and nurses poking and prodding him at all hours of day and night. He remembered the nausea, the headaches and dizziness. But he also remembered the comforting presence of his mother, constantly at his side.

She had taken the day off from work to be with him today. His father, an ambassador for the United Nations, was currently away on a sensitive diplomatic mission and could not easily return, while his mother, a schoolteacher, could much more readily find a substitute. It was logical, he knew, but he found that wished his father was with them, too.

Forcing himself not to dwell on what he could not change, he turned his thoughts elsewhere, remembering his meeting with James Kirk and wondering if Jim was back at school. He found Jim's liveliness fascinating, and thinking about him was a most pleasant distraction.

When Spock returned home from his ordeal around seven that evening, he retreated to his room. He was thankful that he felt neither nausea nor fatigue. Instead, he was restless and rather frustrated. He opened his Spanish textbook, deciding to immerse himself in his studies to attempt to drown out the unfamiliar feelings. Señor Pike always presented his students with a pop quiz on Tuesdays.

Jim leaned back in his desk chair feeling better than he had in a long time. He took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles. The past four hours had found him in the school library catching up on his classwork before heading home. He was left with one essay for English and a series of constellations to study for astrology. He already knew the constellations; the stars had always fascinated him. One day he would travel through them, heart problems be damned, and become the first man on Mars-or something similar. His gut told him that he wasn't meant to live out his life bound to this dusty old planet. As he packed his things into his backpack, his head was full of dreams.

Reality hit hard as he returned home to find Frank, his stepfather passed out drunk on the couch. "Geez," Jim thought, "it's only around six. Hope he's out for the night." Plopping down in front of the computer,

Jim sent an email to his mother, updating her on his health and assuring her that all was well. She was sailing somewhere around Europe at the moment and wouldn't be home for another two months. Of course, she wouldn't be home for long when she did return. Winona Kirk hated being at home. Jim supposed he could understand. He knew that he was the spitting image of his father, the love of her life, and that looking at him made her sad. His older brother had run away from home years ago, having given up waiting for them to be a family. He wondered what his mom saw in Frank. Or Frank in her, for that matter. At least she got someone to watch her kid. Who knows what Frank got out of the relationship. Damned if he could figure it out. She wasn't exactly the family type and would be home for only about a month before shipping out on another six-month contract leaving Jim with Frank again.

Jim's stomach growled and he realized he had not eaten since he'd had lunch at around eleven. Dr. McCoy would throw a fit if he knew, but Dr. McCoy would also prefer if Jim lay in bed all day where he wouldn't "overexert" himself. Jim snorted, thinking of his doctor before heading to the kitchen, where he raided the almost-empty cabinets (empty because had not been home in two weeks to shop) and came away with crackers, nutella, and a can of minestrone soup. He grabbed his booty, and headed upstairs to his room, taking care not to wake up Frank. This involved a combination of sneaking, skipping the squeaking step, and pretending to be James Bond. He put his soup in the microwave he had bought for his room, and checked out the lemonade that may or may not have grown mold during his absence. Dinner for one.

Author's Note:

I hope everyone is enjoying the new edited chapters! Special thanks to IvyRose my new beta for all her amazing help!


	3. Chapter 3

Never Alone-Chapter 3

Spock noted with disinterest that his absence on Monday had gone without notice. It was not unexpected. Spock did not go out often, he spent his lunches in the library, and attended the music programs only sporadically as piano accompaniment to the orchestra, band, or choirs. Spock experimented with the idea of leaving school on a more regular basis when he realized that even his teachers did not notice his absence. His quiet musings was end during fifth period. Everything had seemed normal, he walked into the Astronomy classroom, took his usually seat in the left front corner, and began to open his book bag. This was the moment the quiet, tranquil, albeit dull school life as Spock knew it ended.

"Spock!" James Kirk waved enthusiastically from his seat in the rear of the room. Janice Rand, Hikaru Sulu, and new foreign student whose name Spock did not know, all clustered around him. Jim, evidently, was rather popular.

"How are ya buddy?" Spock turned slowly wishing James did not feel compelled to yell quite so loudly.

"I am fine, thank you" Jim was evidently ignorant to Spock's discomfort.

"Come sit back here with us." He invited.

"This eat is adequate for my needs." Spock returned his attention back to his books. Someone slid into the seat next to him.

"I forgot my glasses today so I should up front anyway, besides I can't let a handsome guy like you sit all by yourself." Unsure whether or not Him was teasing Spock choose to ignore him. This did not deter Jim in the slightest who continued to pollute Spock's ears with nonessential information concerning their fellow students. James T. Kirk was apparently quite the gossiper. Remarkably, and thankfully, he stayed quite once the teacher started his lecture. Spock couldn't help, but notice the way Jim squinted at the board, his blue eyes reduced almost to slits, his hand gliding across the paper as he took notes only…they were not notes. Spock looked more closely at his classmate's paper. There was certainly a list of vocabulary and key terms, but below it was a list of food. _Eggs, milk, bread, pop tarts, crackers, jelly, cold cuts,_ it went on. James Kirk was writing his grocery list and only pretending to focus on his lesson. Underneath the 'notes' Spock noted what looked suspiciously like a bus schedule.

Jim looked up from his writing to find Spock staring at his 'notes'.

"What?" he whispered. Spock shook his head side to side and turned his attention back to the lecture. There was no point wasting his efforts on the illogical actions of James Kirk when he they could be better spent focusing on his studies.

As the bell rang Spock expected Jim to leave him for his friends, but James Kirk, Spock was soon to find, never did what was expected of him.

"Spock come join us for lunch."

"I normally spend this time in the library." Jim waved his hand dismissively, Spock was beginning to understand that Him used his hands almost as much as his mouth to communicated.

"So try something different. No one will bite, I promise. Well," he amended, "maybe me." A red blush reached Spock's ears.

"I do not wish to subjected to your _teasing_." He forced the world 'teasing' out though his teeth as if it tasted bad in his mouth. Jim looked apologetic.

"I didn't mean to upset you Spock, I'll back off, but" he looked down at the ground briefly as if embarrassed, "I wasn't teasing you." Spock raised one eyebrow and while his mind told him following James Kirk would be nothing, but trouble, his feet followed the blond out he door.

Lunch forced Spock to reevaluate his opinion that James Kirk was popular. That was not the case. He was well known and certainly well received (especially by the female population), but not popular. The girls seemed taken with him, but not the majority of the student body, In fact Jim associated with what could be called the 'losers' of the school. He knew the nerds and geeks, the band kids, the shy ones in the back of the room, even the Goth group. Yet the jocks, cheerleaders, and wealthier students cast him dirty looks. Jim acted as if he couldn't see them as he guided Spock to a table near the front of the cafeteria. Spock found their behavior harder to ignore, it was even more difficult to notice Nyota Uhura among the cheerleaders snickering as the varsity football player attempted to trip Jim.

"Guys, this is Spock!" Jim announced taking a seat beside Hikaru while absently patting the open seat next to him as he introduced Spock. Clearly that was Spock's designated seat, he took it nodding in greeting to Jim's friends. Once again he was surrounded by Janice Rand (who clearly fancied Jim), Hikaru, and the foreign student, as well as two other students.

"And this is Hikaru, Pavel, Monty, Gaila, and you already know Janice apparently." Spock nodded again unsure of what to say. Janice wrinkled her nose.

"How do you know me? I don't know you?"

"Apparently the whole school does. You're my official pity party, which by the way I don't need." Jim frowned at Janice before turning back to Spock,

"I'm going to go buy lunch, you coming?"

"Their vegetarian options are limited so I have prepared my own meal."

"Oh," Jim looked surprised, "well that's cool, you can keep Paval company, he never buys lunch either."

"My Mom makes authentic Russian meals each night. I bring the left overs. You're American food is lacking in flavor or covered in grease." Pavel's voice was heavy with accent, apparently Russia. As he left to buy his food Jim whispered in Spock's ear

"Pavel is a bit homesick for Russia."

"Indeed." Spock answered quietly.

Lunch was almost a pleasant experience. It remained unproductive as Jim made studying impossible with all of his laughter, jokes, and in Spock's opinion, yelling. James Kirk had too volumes; loud and louder. Yet everyone was content to simply let Spock observe and chime in if he desired. They were an interesting group.


	4. Chapter 4

Never Alone

Chapter 4

The next few weeks passed in a similar manner. Jim sat beside Spock during astronomy class, and Spock joined Jim for lunch. Jim noted Spock's gradual weight loss and the bags under his eyes, but he made sure no one mentioned it. If Spock wanted to keep his health issues private, Jim would help him.

Spock was no longer being spared the effects of his chemotherapy. Mondays were the worst: a full day of school followed by two hours or more at the hospital, leaving him too sick and tired to finish his homework. Most Monday nights would find him curled up in bed with a garbage bin close at hand. In a desperate attempt to keep up with his classes, he would rise Tuesday mornings at five to finish his schoolwork and then drive to school. Wednesdays were not much better, nor were his Thursday mornings, but at least he had a slight reprieve on Fridays.

Jim never pestered him, and on the occasions he did miss school, always presented him with a detailed, neatly printed copy of the astronomy notes. Spock wasn't sure which was more surprising-Jim's kindness, or the fact that he took notes at all.

"Hey Spock," Pavel looked shyly up at him during lunch one Monday. "Uh, on Friday, uh, it's my birthday and, everyone is coming over. There vill be wideo games and ice cream and a homemade cake, a Russian recipe. Vould you like to come?" The last sentence flew out of his mouth so quickly and was so heavily accented that Spock almost missed it.

"You want me to come?" Spock asked, trying to hide his surprise.

"Vell, only if you vant."

"I - I would be honored, but I cannot stay late."

Pavel beamed as if Spock had given him all of Russia. "I vill text you my address. Come around six or so." Spock nodded.

"Hey Pavel," Hikaru threw a straw wrapper at his friend's head to get his attention. "How old are you going to be, anyway?"

"Fifteen."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "You are turning fifteen years old? I thought you were in 12th grade."

Hikaru answered for Pavel. "He's, like, a super genius; he skipped up a bunch of grades back in Russia. Sort of like Jim. He should only be a junior."

Pavel's face flushed red. "I am not a genius."

"Sure you are, Pav. You should be proud. Brains are hot." Hikaru winked at his young friend, who then turned an even brighter red. Spock watched the interaction between the two, bemused. It would seem Janice was not the only one with a crush.

Amanda breamed at the news when Spock came home from school. "How wonderful! What are you going to wear?"

Spock sighed inwardly. "Jeans and a sweater, I imagine. It is a birthday party, not a wedding or formal dinner."

Amanda Grayson giggled like a schoolgirl. Spock reminded himself that, despite all her quirks, she was a devoted mother who loved him very much, and he returned the affection even if he did not openly show it.

"And this is the boy Jim introduced you to?"

"Yes, Mother."

"I see." She stopped folding laundry to look at her son.

"Why don't you invite Jim over for dinner some time? Your father comes home tomorrow."

Spock's eyes went wide. "Here, for dinner? Why?"

"Well why not, he's your friend isn't he? We could order pizza or something if that would make you more comfortable."

"I will consider the idea."

He started to move toward his room when his mother added, "You could throw a party if you want, dear."

It was a mystery what thoughts went through his mother's mind. Spock did not know any other parents who encouraged their children to throw parties.

It was Wednesday; Pavel's party was on Friday. Spock had another hour and change before he was able to leave the hospital. He had been receiving the chemo for than a month now and was gratified that he still had a full head of dark hair. Dark hair which was currently falling in front of his eyes, as he looked down at his book. It was time for a haircut. The book was dull, the plot predictable, and the writing horrendous. His mother had suggested he read "Twilight" in order to "get in touch with his romantic side." So far, the book was causing more nausea than the chemo. He was bored and still had another hour to go. The rec room was open, but that option did not appeal to him; however, a walk might do him so good. He stood, dragging the IV pole beside him and told the nurse of his intentions. It was Christine Chapel, the nurse Sally had threatened to report Jim to. She was a pleasant blonde woman who "floated" at various areas of the pediatric department. She often assisted Dr. McCoy, the cardiac specialist, when he came to treat pediatric cases such as Jim.

Spock made his way down to the rec room, as there was not much else to visit, and tried to avoid small children. He did not know to handle them the way his mother did. They cried and yelled and Spock could do nothing to comfort them. His mother needed only a few words to have them smiling and laughing again. As if to remind him of his shortcomings he heard a small cry from a little child from down the hall.

"Hey Spock!" Spock gaped in dismay as James Kirk walked out of the rec room beaming at him.

"What are you doing here?"

Jim pouted at Spock's questions. "What, no 'hello'? You're not excited to see me?"

When Spock gave no response he sighed. "I stop by every now and then to visit the kids. I feel bad just abandoning them every time I get released-but guess what!" He leaned his weight onto the balls of his feet in excitement. "Rosie went home yesterday! Clean bill of health."

"That is pleasant news." Spock stood awkwardly not sure what to do or say. Jim, however, had no such problem.

"So, I was heading out because the bus comes in, like, five minutes, but I think I could catch another one later, in, like, two hours. Do you want to play a game or something? It sounds stupid, I know, but it's better than doing nothing. I mean, I don't imagine you're strolling down the hall for fun. There's a deck of cards, checkers, _Monopoly_, chess, uh maybe _Sorry_-oh and _Clue_!"

Spock mulled this over for a minute, still in a bit of shock at the force of Jim's personality.

"Chess would be agreeable and," he paused, "if you do not mind waiting for me to finish here, I could drive you home. More accurately my mother will. She will not let me drive myself here or home for some illogical reason I cannot fathom."

Jim laughed. "She's probably just worrying about you; it's what Moms do-and I would love a ride home. Now, hurry up and get in here while I set up the board."

Jim proved to be quite adept at chess. He explained to Spock that once he was forced to drop lacrosse he joined the chess club. Spock was unaware that the high school even had a chess club. Their game lasted over an hour and they were forced to abandon it only when Mrs. Grayson and a nurse came searching for Spock to disconnect him from his drip.

"You must have been having a good time, Mr. Spock. Your mother says you never lose track of time."

"I was deeply engaged. James is highly skilled at chess."

Jim feigned embarrassment hiding his face in his hands. "Aw, Spock you're making me blush. But you can call me Jim you know-everyone else does."

Spock nodded. "Jim." He turned to his mother, "I promised Jim we would drive him home so he would not have to wait for the bus."

"Oh that's fine," she rubbed Spock's back gently before ushering them out the door.

Once inside the quiet of the car, Spock realized that he was beginning to feel terrible. His mother and James-Jim-chatted quietly the entire way to Jim's. Spock was only vaguely aware when they pulled up in front of a small, slightly neglected looking two-level house.

"Thank you Mrs. Grayson, you've been wonderful." He turned to Spock. "Take it easy, man. We'll have to finish our game later." Spock nodded, but didn't speak. He wasn't sure if opening his mouth was a good idea at the moment. They pulled away as Jim opened his front door.


	5. Chapter 5

Never Alone-Chapter 5

Thursday afternoon, when Spock took his usual seat in Astronomy, Jim had not arrived. When the bell rang he turned to ask Hikaru if he knew Jim's whereabouts, but the boy only shrugged his shoulders. Lunch was much quieter that day.

"I hope he izn't zick again." Pavel said, "I found Rock Band from my closet just for him."

"I wouldn't freak out," said Hikaru, eyeing Janice warily in case she burst into tears.

"He normally texts someone if he goes to the hospital. He probably just overslept and decided not to come." Montgomery Scott chimed in. "I wonder if his step-dad has anything to do with it."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "His parents do not want him to attend school?"

Monty fidgeted uncomfortably. "Jim has never given the impression that he likes his step-dad. Actually, he seems to really hate him. His step-dad did keep him home this one time when Jim broke an antique model car and he made Jim try to put it back together."

"What happened?" Spock never could suppress his curiosity.

"Well, it was beyond repair and, uh, Jim finally threw it in his face after fiddling with it for a while. I think his mom was home then, and intervened. Jim was all huffy for weeks."

"His father zounds like an azz," Pavel piped up.

"Yeah, but Jim's pretty tight-lipped about it and no one's even met him," Sulu added. "And don't let Jim hear you call him his father-he hates it when people relate him to the guy."

"You know," said Gaila, "he never took me to his house, even when we dated. We had a thing for, like, two weeks a few years ago."

"Then he dumped you because he realized you weren't a guy, just an ugly girl," said Monty. Gaila threw an empty milk carton at him.

"Jim is gay?" Spock asked.

"Yeah, you didn't know that?" replied Hikaru. "He came out sophomore year."

"It doesn't bother you does it?" Pavel asked. Spock shook his head.

"I simply did not realize," he glanced at Janice who now pouted angrily. Clearly, she did not want accept the fact Jim would never return her feelings.

"I wonder how his step-dad took that news. He doesn't seem like the accepting type." Everyone shrugged, and the conversation drifted off to Pavel's birthday party when Gaila asked Pavel if there would be anything besides video games and whether or not she should break into her parents' liquor cabinet. They told Pavel it was BYOB after his parents and sister had left, only he thought BYOB meant bring your own bagpipes because Scotty was very enthusiastic about it.


	6. Chapter 6

Never Alone-Chapter 6

Jim was tired. He thought he might be catching a cold, and with him a cold was never just a cold. He really hoped not. He had been out of the hospital for almost two months and had been doing well. His mother was due home in a week or so. She would stay a week in Europe then fly home for two weeks before leaving again. Jim didn't ask why she wouldn't stick around. He already knew. He was too much like his Father and too much like the older brother he barely remembered. He was nothing but painful memories to her. And Frank…. Jim didn't even know why Frank stayed around, why she kept him. Maybe she wanted to pretend her family was whole and happy, not broken and dying.

Today, so far, things were operating in Jim's favor. He felt lousy, but at least Frank was gone. He'd left that morning for a "day with his boys," whatever that meant. Jim had the house to himself to rest and try to avoid any colds before they took hold of him. Taking the day off was a strategic retreat in the war with his malfunctioning heart. Dr. McCoy would be proud.

The quiet was good for Jim, and he knew how to rest, despite whatever Dr. McCoy thought. He was resting now, sitting at his desk making up a gift for Spock. It was a re-creation of his own "Hospitals are so boring I could shit myself" bag. He wasn't sure about Spock's taste in movies, but had downloaded and burned some bootlegged copies of his own favorites on DVD. So far, he'd included the complete Star Wars saga, a National Geographic special on the Milky Way, some old school Doctor Who, and a few comedies, because everyone needed to laugh when they didn't feel good. He also tossed in a toothbrush and paste, a small pillow, and a small travel chess set. His own personal bag also included an mp3 player and his laptop, but Spock would have to add his own to his bag, Jim told himself. He planned to bring the bag to school and present it to Spock as a friendly gift. His actions had nothing to do with any romantic feelings he did not have for Spock.

A trip to the kitchen found no food except for some canned veggies and some pasta. Jim sighed. He really hated the bus and it was raining. Going to the supermarket meant walking to and from the stop in the rain with all his groceries. It wasn't going happen; he would order pizza tonight. His mom would be home in a few days and then maybe he could have a nice home-cooked meal. It was a good thing she was coming home because his monthly allowance for food and other necessities was running low. Maybe if Frank wasn't such a lazy lowlife without a job things wouldn't be so tough.

Friday morning, someone tapped Jim on the shoulder as he knelt in front of his locker. Jim looked up, surprised and pleased to see Spock.

"Hey Spock, what's up?"

"Jim, I trust you are well."

Jim tilted his head. "Yeah, I'm—oh, because I wasn't here yesterday." A grin split his face. "You missed me!" Spock crossed his arms in front of his chest and failed to suppress the blush that warmed his face.

"I was merely concerned that, given your medical history-"

Jim cut him off. "Yeah, sure. Look, I have a surprise for you." He rummaged through his locker and pulled out an overstuffed blue bag. "I call it the 'hospitals are so boring I could shit myself' bag." Jim beamed, obviously pleased with himself. "Let me know what you think. I know you're a private guy so you can go through it later."

For the past few weeks Spock had observed James Kirk's enthusiasm, spontaneity, and kindness, but this left him speechless. After a moment, he finally said, "Thank you."

"No problem, get well soon."

"Jim?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to come to my house for dinner sometime, maybe Sunday?" Jim thought about it. Any excuse to be away from Frank was a good one, and an invitation from Spock—well, no one could turn that down.

"I would love to, but uh, I'm really, really, really allergic to sunflower seeds and oils, seafood, peanuts, uh, actually most nuts, coconuts, avocado, garlic, eggplant, and most melons." He scratched the back of head a little embarrassed, "I'm sort of high maintenance to feed."

If Jim's list of allergies fazed Spock he didn't show it; he simply asked for a written list and agreed to see Jim later in class.


	7. Chapter 7

Never Alone-Chapter 7

Pavel failed to mention that his birthday party also involved a massive bonfire in his backyard. A minor detail in his opinion, but Jim loved it.

"We can set it ablaze and watch the stars after I kick your ass in_ Rock Band_!"

"And eat cake!" added Monty who was playing _Call of Duty_ with Hikaru.

Spock was sitting near the kitchen where Mrs. Chekov and Pavel's younger sisters were icing the cake. As Pavel immersed himself in the slaying of Zombie Nazis with Monty and Hikaru, Jim wandered over to him.

"How are you doing?"

"I was unaware Nyota would be here." Jim followed his gaze to Janice, Gaila, and Nyota, who were dancing next to the stereo to an upbeat techno song unfamiliar to Spock.

"Yeah, she's good friends with the girls and Pavel, but she can't stand me. I guess she couldn't say no to Pavel's puppy dog eyes when he went begging for her to come. Do you two have some kind of history?"

"We…dated previously, but we were not a good match." Jim nodded trying not to look pleased that Spock was no longer with Nyota. He didn't pry for details, even though he was curious, which Spock was thankful for.

"Jim, I never thanked you for keeping my secret."

Jim shrugged. "It's your business, but you know these guys won't care."

Spock nodded thoughtfully. "I have observed as much, but I am not ready for everyone to know I have leukemia."

"So it was a type of cancer. Well, I did meet you in the oncology wing."

Spock nodded again. "May I ask you a question, Jim?"

"As long as were having a heart-to-heart-" He spread his arms wide open in invitation.

"Where are your parents?" Jim looked confused and Spock elaborated, "You take the bus everywhere and you have never mentioned them. None of your friends have even met your step-father." Jim looked away. "If you are uncomfortable-"

"No, no just thinking. Well, my mom works for a cruise line as a navigator for six months at a time. She's actually due home in a few days for a couple of weeks and then she's leaving again. Dad passed away when I was very small, a heart attack, coincidently. My older brother…" He paused. Jim very rarely spoke of his brother. Most people didn't even know he had one. "My brother Sam ran away when I was around six and I haven't seen him since. As for Frank, my step-dad, we don't really get along."

Spock nodded, taking note of the detachment in his voice when speaking of his family. "I see."

"What about you Spock? You're a pretty formal guy, that has to have something to do with your parents."

"My mother is an elementary school teacher, second grade and English-as-a-Second-Language. My father is an ambassador for the United Nations. Since I was very young, I have been brought to formal national and international state dinners, and have lived in other countries. I've always been expected to conduct myself with proper behavior. My father has…high standards."

Now it was Jim's turn to nod. Spock's father sounded like a stick-in-the-mud, to say the least. No wonder Spock was so uptight. Looking back, Jim recalled that when he had first met Spock's dad at the hospital, had not spoken a single word.

"Guys, Pav is going to open his presents!" Hikaru was attempting to gather everyone into a group for cake and presents.

"Well, I guess we should join the party. Nyota won't come near you if you stick with me." Spock did stick with Jim, he even tried his hand at _Rock Band _on the drums. Jim didn't mind at all, and was more than happy to stay beside Spock when it was time to sing "Happy Birthday." Everyone crowded close together. Spock was pressed just behind his shoulder and their hands kept touching. Jim turned to apologize, only to find a small smile lighting Spock's normally impassive face. Jim smiled back. Spock was probably smiling at Pavel's excited expression or because he was enjoying himself, not because they had almost held hands, but Jim didn't mind. A smile on Spock's face was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

It was late, nearly 11:30 when the party began to wind down. Spock had an eight o'clock appointment in the morning. He said his farewells, thanked Mrs. Chekov for her hospitality, and prepared to leave. Before he left, he cornered Jim by the front door.

"Do you require a ride home?" It was very tempting, a ride home to Jim meant alone time with Spock. It also meant going home to Frank. If he did not return home tonight, Jim would face Frank's fury in the morning, but then again, he could still face it tonight simply for being out with Frank's "permission." There was also the matter of his other friends. This was a rare opportunity. It wasn't often that Jim was either out of the hospital long enough or free of Frank long enough to spend much time outside of school with them.

"No thanks, I'll walk home later or catch a ride with Monty. Or maybe not." Monty had taken BYOB seriously and was very happily attempting to waltz with Gaila, who had obviously shared whatever Monty had brought.

Spock frowned. "I do not recommend walking home in the cold. We are also expecting more rain in the next few hours."

"Okay, okay," Jim held his hands up in surrender. "I won't walk. Hikaru never drinks and he doesn't live far from me." Spock tilted his head in agreement.

"Then I shall see you Monday."

When Jim returned to the group and sat down on the sofa, Gaila took a seat on his lap. Running a hand through his hair she asked, "So Jimmy babe, what's going on with you and Spockie?" If Jim had been drinking he would have sprayed everyone within a three-foot radius as he spluttered incoherently.

"What?" It wasn't an easy thing to catch James Kirk off guard, but Gaila had managed it.

"Oh please! He follows you like a lost stray, can't keep his eyes off of you! And you," She poked him in the chest. "You can't wait to rip his shirt off. I do believe I saw some hand-holding while we were singing Happy Birthday to Pav."

Everyone was staring now.

"There was no hand holding," Jim huffed defensively. " I don't even know if the guy swings that way."

"But you do like him?" she persisted. James T. Kirk was blushing.

"Well, I'll admit he's pleasing to the eye, and smart, and really very kind, and funny in his own way, but-"

Gaila squealed, "You do!" She hit him playfully on the shoulder, "My little Jimmy babe has a crush on Spock! Oh, I can't wait to play matchmaker!"

"Gaila, he probably doesn't even like men!" He wasn't even trying to deny his interest in Spock any more. Nyota was glaring at Jim, and the saying "if looks could kill" came to his mind, but Gaila didn't seem to notice.

"Watching him watch you, Jimmy babe, I bet he does!"


	8. Chapter 8

Never Alone-Chapter 8

Jim spent the night on Pavel's sofa. Monty, who had been in no condition to drive, was on the floor beside him. The Chekov's were kind enough to let them crash and the next morning before they left, even served them an authentic Russian breakfast along with a slice of leftover cake.

Frank's car was sitting in the driveway when Monty dropped him off. Jim waved goodbye and entered the house quietly. Frank was just sober enough to notice him, and just drunk enough to fly into a rage. Jim ignored the screaming and name-calling, a common occurrence, and headed to his room. Unexpectedly, Frank followed him. Cold hands seized Jim by the neck and threw him into his room.

"You're mamma 'cepts me t' take care o' you," his speech was slurred by the alcohol, "but she don't know what a bastard you are." Frank threw a nearly-drained glass bottle at Jim, missing him by inches as he ducked out of the way. "I look ou' for you and whaddaya do? Out all night! Well now ya can stay here!" Frank stomped out of the room, locking the door from the outside. Shocked and sore, Jim leaned on his knees, trying to take slow deep breaths. He wondered how long it would take the dizziness to pass. He could feel his heart racing and felt lightheaded. What would Dr. McCoy think of Frank's outburst in relation to his "treatment plan?"

Jim waited until the sun had set and he could hear Frank's snoring from the floor below before getting up to relieve himself. He tried to open his door but it wouldn't budge. He pushed, pulled, and threw his weight against it until his shoulders ached, but the door wouldn't open.

Frank left him in his room until Monday morning.

"I forgot you were in here, sorry, Bud. Oh, and your mom's coming home in a few hours." Jim was shaking and dehydrated. Forty-eight hours. He had called Spock Sunday afternoon when Frank had still failed to release him, explaining that there had been a family emergency, fighting to keep tears out of his voice. He'd had no idea when he was going to be let out, and he had wanted so badly to see Spock.

Jim didn't make it to school that morning. He wanted out of the house, but he couldn't manage it. After practically crawling out of his room with his head and heart pounding, he made it to the bathroom, where he drank straight from the tap. He was unwilling to head downstairs. His medication had been in the cabinet above the bathroom sink. Dr. McCoy would have a field day if he knew Jim had gone two days without it. Jim took one dose before stepping into the shower to remove the filth from the past two days. He would have to keep his medication and water in his room now, and something other than Oreos for sustenance.

With Winona Kirk coming home today, Frank was going to leave the house, as he always did. He would come home just after she arrived and complain about how difficult it was to find a job. It was only a matter of time until he left and then Jim could go downstairs to find something to eat. While he waited, he wondered what this change in Frank's behavior meant. Frank was a good-for-nothing moocher, a drunken jackass, but the cruelty he showed these past two days was new.

There were unspoken rules in the Kirk house. Frank did not touch him and he did not come upstairs. In return, Jim shopped and cleaned before his mother came home. But now Frank was breaking the rules. Frank had not hit him since he was small. The last time was when he first got sick. The violence stopped once he entered high school, once he was taller than Frank. Frank's actions this weekend were a mystery to Jim. Was it because he had just been released from the hospital? Did he think Jim was weak? Anger rushed though him—he was not weak. But, a small voice prompted, you can't outrun him, you can't hurt him, and you just spent two days locked in your bedroom and you won't even tell your mom. Jim felt helpless. His inner voice was right, no matter how much he wanted to deny the truth.


	9. Chapter 9

Never Alone-Chapter 9

Winona Kirk was pleased to see her son, but she was not pleased to see her son at home when he was supposed to be in school. Said son was sitting at the kitchen table devouring a ham and cheese sandwich as if he had not eaten in weeks.

"Mom!" Jim spun around on his chair at the sound of the front door opening.

"Jimmy? Why aren't you at school? And why is there nothing on your feet?" Jim looked down at his bare feet. He had emerged from the shower and thrown on a t-shirt and boxers before heading downstairs. He put on his best smile for his mother.

"I wasn't feeling too hot today so I took the day off."

She pursed her lips in annoyance. "Do you need me to call your doctor?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "No and I can do it myself. I do it myself all the time, anyway."

"Jim, you know I wish I could be here more—Oh, never mind, you're as stubborn as your father! Can you put my suitcase in my room?"

Jim blinked and swallowed the last of his sandwich. At least she wasn't trying to start a fight.

"Yeah, sure." He took her large black suitcase and rolled it down the hall. It was hard to lift. "Good god, Mom, what the hell is in here? Rocks?" The effort of hauling it upstairs left him breathless.

"Oh, stop it! I have some bad news. I'm only going to be here until Saturday."

Jim dragged himself back to the kitchen where she was brewing a pot of coffee. She hadn't even unpacked and she already had plans to leave. Jim knew he shouldn't feel surprised or disappointed because this always happened, but Frank was always more bearable when she was around.

"You'll miss Christmas." Saturday was Christmas Eve.

"I've been asked to join a new ship. It's actually quite an honor." Jim nodded mutely.

"I should be around for your birthday this year though, I know your last one just passed. I have a little something packed away."

Jim forced a smile. "Thanks, Mom, you didn't have to."

They made polite chit chat until Frank came in and Jim excused himself. They made plans to go out for dinner, leaving Jim alone in the house. As he went to bed that night, he told himself he didn't care that he was second fiddle to a drunkard.

On Tuesday, Spock noticed Jim was subdued in class. He hardly spoke, except for brief greetings, and didn't even try to engage Spock in pointless conversation about their classmates. During lunch, he was as loud as ever, but something was off. His laughter felt forced, his smiles appeared tight. If the others noticed, they didn't say anything. Jim clearly did not want to talk, so Spock observed in silence.

Wednesday morning found Spock eagerly seeking out Jim. But Jim could not be found at his locker or first period classroom. He was not wandering the halls flirting, or chatting, or grabbing a snack from the cafeteria. Spock dejectedly assumed he was absent, and sent his friend a text.

I have news for you.

His phone vibrated in his pocket seconds after sending the text. 'k lets talk in class.

Spock stared at it suspiciously. Jim was not absent, but this was peculiar behavior. Normally, Jim would have sought Spock out immediately, begging for the secret. Spock had only known James Kirk for four months, but he was confident he knew his friend well enough to identify his current behavior as abnormal. Perhaps it was time for Spock to ask what was bothering Jim.

Spock found Jim in his usual seat during Astronomy and sat beside him.

The blond didn't waste any time. "What's on your mind?"

It was unusual to be personally sought out by Spock. Jim was rather touched, even preoccupied as he was with his problems with Frank. Spock leaned forward and spoke just loud enough for Jim to hear. "After three months and twenty days, I am officially in remission."

"That's great Spock!" Jim shouted, almost jumping out of his seat. His actions brought a small smile to Spock's lips. Jim thought he could gaze at that beautiful smile forever.

"I must add that your friendship has been greatly appreciated during this time."

Jim found his indoor voice. "You're going to make me blush again, Spock, besides you're a pretty cool guy. I feel privileged to consider you my friend."

Despite his joy at Spock's recovery, the word "friend" broke Jim's heart just a bit more. It was foolish to think that Spock would have any romantic feelings towards him, but it hurt all the same. They were only friends, just friends. He turned his gaze away from Spock and to his notebook.

"That is not all, Jim."

"Oh?"

Spock was watching him with a look Jim couldn't quite fathom. Concern, maybe? Or pity? He needed no one's pity. Did Spock realize how he felt, was that why he pitied him? Did he feel guilty because he didn't feel the same way? Jim forced his emotions down. Spock was probably clueless. The guy wasn't exactly an expert on interpersonal communications, after all.

"Yes; however, I think it is better saved for after class," Spock said as their instructor walked into the room. "Perhaps we can continue our discussion during lunch?"

Jim nodded, but didn't meet Spock's eyes. They sat in silence for the remainder of the class. Jim wasn't sure if he could handle a rejection from Spock, not today. He ran his hands through his hair, his thoughts going round and round. Maybe he could just skip the rest of the day and go home? No, not home-but there was nowhere else to go. He was trapped and alone, alone with a defective vital organ. A broken heart physically, and emotionally. When did he fall so hard for Spock?

He couldn't run away. He was James T. Kirk. He needed no one's help and no one's pity, not even Spock's. He would face Spock head on no matter how much it hurt, and then…then he would carry on as he always did—as if he wasn't broken.

At the bell, Jim was out the door before Spock had stood up, calling back to Sulu that he would meet everyone later in the cafeteria. He headed straight to the nearest restroom, needing some time alone. Locking himself inside a stall, he forced himself to take deep slow breaths. His problems weren't that bad. He could fix them.

Only four small dilemmas: Frank, his mother, Spock, and his health. He could manage that. His health wasn't really an issue; he was doing okay right now, and even if he wasn't-well, there was nothing he could do to fix his heart problem. Spock was simple: He had to let go. The guy wasn't even his type. Sure, he was hot, but he was…Spock! It shouldn't be so difficult to forget him and move on, but Spock had managed to work his way into his heart. Still he couldn't force Spock to return his feelings. He had no choice: he had to let Spock go. He could still have the friendship.

His mother wasn't really a problem; he did just fine without her. Once Sam ran away, and she found her dream job at sea, Jim had learned to fend for himself. No, problem number two wasn't an issue at all. He was simply upset because he had, stupidly, gotten his hopes up that she would spend the holiday with him. The solution to that problem was easy: He needed to stop being a dumbass.

The real problem was Frank. Jim hadn't expected a miraculous solution, and the problem still weighed heavily on his mind. There was no easy solution for Frank, or if there was, Jim hadn't found it yet. Jim realized with disgust that he was acting like a preteen girl. It was time to suck it up and grow a pair.

A wave of dizziness hit him as he stood. He wondered if it was the lingering effects of his two-day imprisonment. How how long did the effects of dehydration take to wear off? Shouldn't it be immediate, once you took a drink? The last thing he needed was to add kidney failure to his list of problems. He pushed the thought away and willed the dizziness to pass; he had to speak to Spock.

Spock was waiting outside the cafeteria entrance when Jim finally arrived. Jim imagined some tragic romantic music playing in the background. He really needed to stop watching soap operas when he was in the hospital!

"Jim, are you all right?" It was typical of Spock, straight to the point.

Flashing a perfect smile, Jim decided he should explore a career in acting. He obviously had a gift. "Health-wise you mean? Yeah, I'm fine. Well, fine as I can be, anyway."

Spock closed his eyes searching for the right words. "While your physical well-being is important, I was inquiring about your emotional well-being."

Mimicking Spock Jim raised one eyebrow. "Of course my friend," -there he had said it: friend. See Spock I get how you feel, I understand. Now please spare us both.

Spock shook his head.

"I believe you are lying. These past two days, your behavior has been bizarre. Actually," he paused thoughtfully, "your behavior has been perfectly normal, which for you is completely bizarre. You have been unusually quiet. When you do speak, every smile, every laugh is forced. Even now you are forcing that smile. Finally, today you went from euphoria upon hearing about my remission to restless agitation in mere seconds. You do not have to lie to me, Jim. What is wrong?"

Jim gaped. He wasn't being rejected, and Spock had just caught him in a lie. Either his acting was not as good as he imagined, or Spock could read him like an open book. How had Spock seen through him when no one else ever had? That was how he worked his way into Jim's heart. With his innocent self-sacrificing kindness, and his brains—god, Spock was smart. He was too attractive for his own good.

"I-" Jim fumbled for words, trying desperately to answer without revealing too much. These were his problems, not Spock's, and he wouldn't bring Spock down with him. "I got into a fight with Frank Saturday morning. He can just be so insufferable." It was as close to the truth as he could get. Heck, it was the truth-minus a few details.

Spock frowned and then placed a gentle hand on Jim's shoulder, sending tingles up his spine.

"Jim, you have been very kind to me. Not only because I was sick, but-" he searched Jim's eyes for something, Jim didn't know what. "But you've helped me to find friends and trust others, as I now trust you. It is now your turn. Try to trust me as well." He opened the cafeteria door. "Also, Mother wants to know when you will be coming for dinner." An invitation; he wouldn't force Jim to open up, but he wasn't willing to let it go, either.

"I'm, uh-I'm free tonight, or tomorrow, if she needs more notice. But it's almost Christmas, so if she wants to wait until after, I'll understand."

"Tonight then: I will pick you up at five-thirty."

Jim was about to protest, "You are not walking fifteen point six miles in the rain and yes, it is expected to rain tonight."

Jim laughed, the first one that hadn't felt forced in the last few days. "Yes Sir, Captain Spock, Sir!"


	10. Chapter 10

Never Alone-Chapter 10

Jim would not hide from Frank. This was his mother's house, not Frank's, and he refused to spend the next five months until graduation living in fear. That Wednesday, when Jim walked through the door, Frank grunted. Jim gave no response. This was a new rule: If Frank didn't bother Jim, Jim wouldn't bother Frank. This was easier when his mother was present because Frank tended to behave when Winona was around. The oaf must realize that if he was caught tormenting Jim, he would be out of the house before he could say "beer."

So far all was good. Frank was subdued, and Winona had left a note taped to the door of his room informing him she had gone out to visit old friends. Jim had the feeling he wouldn't be seeing much of her during her brief stay, and at the moment he didn't care. He showered, combed his hair, brushed his teeth, and was ready to leave by five-fifteen. Spock would not be late, and Jim wanted to make a good impression.

Like clockwork, an older blue sedan rolled into the driveway at five twenty-nine. Jim was at the front door before Spock had reached the steps. He took extra care to slam the door shut as he left.

"Hey Spock, right on time!"

"Indeed." Evidently Spock did not overlook Jim's stunt with the door, oops!

It was ridiculous, but once inside the car Jim began to feel nervous. He had already met Spock's parents months ago at the hospital and it wasn't as if he and Spock were dating and he was searching for parental approval. He looked over at Spock's hand resting on the gearshift, and thought about taking it, wondering what Spock would do. Now was not the time for raging teenage hormones, he told himself. Thankfully, the ride was mercifully short.

Spock slipped out of his shoes as they stepped inside the house. Jim, noticing the small collection of footwear by the door, copied him. Spock's house was, like Spock himself, neat, clean, and organized. It was also huge. At first it seemed almost hollow, like a display home never lived in, but then subtle details said otherwise. Each room had fresh flowers (from Mrs. Grayson's garden, Spock explained), and there were family photos lining the walls. There was a Christmas tree that had to be at least seven feet high and a grand piano in the living room. It occurred to Jim that being an ambassador must pay very well. Jim stood in the doorway taking everything in, but he didn't have enough time to absorb it all before Mrs. Grayson enveloped first Spock and then him in a warm hug.

"I should have warned you that my mother is not as reserved as my father," Spock apologized.

Mrs. Grayson patted her son gently on the arm. "Someone has to breathe a little life into this house, right Jim?"

"Yes and you only live once right? Might as well make the best of it."

"That's right, now come in, come in. Oh, Spock, please let I-Chiya in. I put him outside so he wouldn't jump on poor Jim when he walked in."

"I-Chiya?"

"My dog. He is a bull mastiff and quite large, but extremely friendly."

Large was an understatement. The dog was probably taller than Jim, but he was very friendly. It was a good match really: large house, large dog. Spock rubbed the dog's ears fondly as it sniffed Jim's legs before running its large tongue over Jim's entire hand.

"I guess he likes me."

Spock nodded. "He has a very good sense for people."

Jim wasn't entirely sure, but it sounded as if Spock had just complemented him. He couldn't help but smile like a goofball.

Mrs. Grayson had returned to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner and her voice carried into the foyer where Jim and I-Chiya were becoming acquainted.

"Spock, why don't you show Jim around? Your father should be home soon, I told him we were eating at six."

It was difficult to see the resemblance between Spock and his mother. Where Spock was reserved, quiet, and somewhat awkward, Mrs. Grayson was a social butterfly with the gift of gab. One exception, however, was their eyes. They both had the same warm chocolate-brown eyes.

Jim followed Spock up the stairs to his bedroom, which Jim noticed, had its own bathroom. Everything was in perfect order, which wasn't unexpected.

He gazed longingly at the full bookcase along the wall beside Spock's desk. Time in the hospital had turned Jim into an avid reader. His gaze was pulled away from the books by a chess set sitting on the desk. Each piece looked hand-crafted. Spock's gaze followed Jim's.

"I acquired that in France. We visited for about two months four summers ago while Father was working in the area. Would you like to play?" Jim nodded and they set the board up on Spock's bed. I-Chiya was not happy when he was forced off the bed onto the floor. They had only a few moves before Mrs. Grayson called them for dinner.

"We could finish after dinner, if you want?" Jim suggested.

Spock agreed and led him back down the stairs to the dining room. At Jim's house, even on holidays when his mom was home, they always ate in the kitchen. Mostly, Jim ate in his room once his mom had started working for the cruise line. He silently prayed there wouldn't be six different types of forks around his plate like in movies, but thankfully, there was only one knife and fork. And to Jim's delight Mrs. Grayson served veggie lasagna, something he knew how to eat and was not allergic to.

"It's perfectly safe for you, Jim. Spock wouldn't stop pestering me about your allergies. Believe it or not, I have dealt with children with allergies before."

"I'm sure it's wonderful. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble."

She laughed. "You, dear, are fine," she served him a large helping, "it's my son who is causing trouble." Jim noticed Spock's father raise his eyebrow. It was obvious who Spock took after.

"Jim, tell us about your parents. What do they do for a living?" It must have been a diplomatic move to spare Spock from his mother's teasing, or maybe Mr. Grayson only wanted to see the kind of company his previously friendless son kept. It was probably a bit of both. Either way, Jim was grateful they didn't question his previous absence.

"Well, I told Spock my Dad died when I was small, but my parents met while they were in the navy. Mom's no longer serving though; she works as a navigator for a cruise line." Mr. Grayson nodded in what Jim recognized as a very "Spockish" gesture.

"That must keep her away from home a lot."

Now it was Jim's turn to nod. "She usually has a six month contract, then comes for a few weeks and then goes out again. She's home until Saturday right now. She really enjoys it, though. I guess she isn't one for dry land." He laughed, but no one else joined in.

"You live alone most of the time?" Amanda questioned in alarm,

"No, well I could, I'm emancipated, but I live in Mom's house with Fra-my step-dad." The entire family was staring at him in bewilderment. Spock was the first speak.

"You are an emancipated minor?"

"Yeah, I wanted control over my own medical decisions when Mom isn't around since I don't really see eye-to-eye with my step-dad. Mom helped me find a lawyer and I've been a legal adult since I was fourteen."

"I see."

"Well, that is interesting. What do you like to do with your free time?" Mr. Grayson prompted. He may be a stick-in-the-mud, but he was definitely a diplomatic genius at saving awkward conversations and moments of silence. The rest of the dinner went smoothly.

As Mrs. Grayson brought out desert (homemade chocolate cake worth dying for), Jim asked, "Who plays the piano?"

"We all do, but Spock is the real musical genius. He never mentioned it to you?"

"No," said Jim turning to Spock was a mischievous smile, "he didn't."

"Spock why don't you play for him?" Mrs. Grayson encouraged.

"I am sure Jim doesn't want to listen- "

Jim cut him off before he could finish. "I would love to hear you play, Spock."

If looks could kill, Spock would have been sentenced to forty-to-life.


	11. Chapter 11

Never Alone-Chapter 11

Mrs. Grayson was not exaggerating when she called Spock a musical genius. Jim knew there was supposed to be some sort of link between music and math, so maybe he shouldn't be surprised. He already knew Spock had an almost perfect GPA. He was good, really good.

The small audience applauded as Spock finished playing.

"Wow, Spock, that was…brilliant! You should have said something."

Spock shrugged. "It never seemed relevant."

Jim shook his head, still shocked.

"Would you like to finish our chess match before you return home?" Spock asked. "It is only a quarter past eight."

"Yeah, sure Spock." Jim followed him back up to his room and Spock shut the door.

"You never mentioned you are emancipated." It was so very Spock, straight to the point, no beating around the bush.

"Well," said Jim, mimicking Spock, "it never seemed relevant. Besides, I'm still living at home."

"If you are unhappy living with Frank, why do you choose to stay with him? You are able to leave."

Sighing, Jim sat down on the bed, suddenly very tired. He had thought about leaving home often enough.

"Legally, I could, but where would I go? Some days I can barely get to school, let alone hold down a full-time job to pay rent _and_ finish school. Besides, Mom thinks I'm better off at home."

Spock watched him thoughtfully. "Are you not better off at home? You seem to feel there is no alternative."

"I have a good deal at home," -this was true: he had roof over his head, food, clothes, hot water- "but Frank can be..." Be what? Difficult? Mean? Cruel? Abusive? "He can be difficult." Jim finished lamely. Spock nodded and sat beside him.

"If you find home to be too 'difficult,' I am sure my parents would agree that you are more than welcome here." Spock seemed determined to send Jim into a state of shock.

"That's very generous, Spock."

"I believe you would do the same if our situations were reversed."

"I'll keep that in mind; thank you, Spock." Jim knew he wouldn't take advantage of such an offer. He couldn't: the thought of being under the same roof as Spock, waking up to him each morning, was far too tempting.

"Jim." It was amazing how one word from Spock could get his attention.

"Yeah, Sp-" The words were cut off before he could finish. Dry, hot lips pushed against his—Spock's lips! Spock was kissing him! Jim allowed himself to be pulled in, and he kissed back, praying the moment wasn't just a dream.

"I hope that was agreeable."

"Agreeable? I've wanted to do it for almost four months." He pulled Spock's face closer, their game of chess forgotten. They paused to breathe, and Jim asked, "I thought you liked girls?"

"I will go both ways, so to speak, and I like you very much."

"This…spontaneity—it's very unlike you. Not that I'm complaining," Jim said, hastily.

"I would not normally express my feelings so openly or brashly, but you are not one for subtlety-a trait that I find oddly attractive. I have also sensed your need for affection." Spock seemed to purr the last word, leaving him speechless. Words failed and Jim let his actions speak for him as he leaned in for another kiss.

"You can read me like an open book."

"Indeed."

And just like that, everything changed.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Spock was not one for public displays of affection, a fact which made his sudden confession all the more special. Yet, despite his reservations, he openly held Jim's hand whenever it was presented to him and even went as far as leave a small kiss on his new boyfriend's forehead each morning as they parted at Jim's locker. Spock also now drove Jim to school each morning, insisting it would rain. When Jim questioned his behavior he discovered that Spock was quite the romantic.

"Why is it that every time you offer me a ride it's going to rain?"

"I require an excuse to spend more time alone with you."

"Spock, you never need an excuse."

The next few weeks were blissful when he was with Spock. Just the thought of him made living with Frank more bearable. Spock treated him with care and love, he paid attention to Jim and never overlooked him as his mother did or abused him as Frank did. With Spock, Jim was no longer alone.

Since Winona had left for her new ship, Frank had taken to throwing empty beer bottles at Jim's head when he was angry—which was most of the time—but he had yet to follow Jim upstairs again. Still as long as Jim had Spock none of it mattered, even the taunts of the ignorant students at school who called them fags and sinners. Jim had had to help Monty restrain Pavel one Wednesday after a particularly rude student jeered at Jim just before history class. Pavel was small, but he was brave and fiercely loyal. Despite any obstacles, being with Spock made Jim absurdly happy and even Spock let a few more smiles slip past his lips once they started dating.

Jim's happiness, however, did not improve his health. As Spock was declared cancer-free, and continued to be, Jim was getting sicker by the day. It was a gradual change: difficulty climbing stairs, fatiguing easily, and breathlessness when walking, but to Jim it felt as if he went from relatively active youth to sickly old man overnight. He tried to pass it off on the cold weather or the stress of his mother leaving him alone on Christmas, but he knew he had a real problem when he found himself around the corner from the astronomy classroom gasping for air.

"Jim?" It was Spock who found him leaning against the wall for support, sweat on his brow, breathing as if he had just run a mile.

"Spock," he gave his boyfriend a small smile, "I'll be right there."

Spock closed the distance between them in a few strides. "You should go to the nurse," he said, relieving Jim of his book bag before he could protest.

"No, no…just need to…catch my breath."

"You need to lie down and see a medical professional." Jim straightened up as he caught his breath.

"That old hag probably isn't even a real nurse. I'll call McCoy when I get home." Spock decided it was best not to argue.

"But can you make it through the day? If you refuse to see the nurse you should at least go home and rest." Jim privately agreed, but the idea of going home early wasn't appealing. He couldn't be sure that Frank would be unconscious until at least three, three-thirty.

"You can go to my house, no one is home." Spock, the mind reader. Over the past four weeks since they had started dating Jim had begun to slowly open up about Frank, and Spock was well are of the brute's heavy drinking.

Jim nodded. "Okay, but we can't sneak out with me stopping every two feet and you shouldn't ruin your record just for me; let's wait until lunch." Reluctantly Spock agreed, but he hovered protectively beside Jim as they walked to class. They were both late that day.

Spock unlocked his front door and followed Jim to the couch. His boyfriend (he illogically loved using that word) was far too proud to ask for help, and Spock did his best not to hover too closely. It was disconcerting to watch Jim's slow deterioration. He had seen old footage of Jim and his friends preparing for high school lacrosse tryouts the summer before freshmen year. That Jim had run, jumped, and pushed past peers much larger than he was, all while wearing a cocky smirk. The Jim before him now couldn't walk down the hallway without having to stop and rest every few feet. Ignoring his own fears, Spock retrieved a spare pillow and blanket from the guest bedroom.

"Do you want something to eat? I can heat up the leftover pasta from last night."

Jim shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine. You should eat before you go, though. Wasn't M'Benga going on about keeping up your immune system?" Spock raised an eyebrow, which brought a smile to Jim's lips.

"I am not the one currently immobile on my boyfriend's sofa."

"Aw, that's a low blow, Spock. I just don't want you to get sick."

Spock's brown eyes widened. "I didn't mean to insult you, I was simply making an observation-"

Jim raised a hand. "I know, I know. I've become quite fluent in Spockish, if you haven't noticed. I'm not angry and I promise I'll eat later."

Spock nodded, looking relieved, and leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on Jim's forehead. He ran his fingers over Jim's upturned palm, their own private gesture of affection, before turning to leave.

"Do not forget to make an appointment with Dr. McCoy." Jim's affectionately sarcastic "Yes, Mother" followed Spock as he shut the door.

Until Jim came along, Spock had been content. He excelled academically and with music. While he did not always see eye-to-eye with his father, particularly over his future (Spock wanted to go into the sciences, specifically astronomy, while his father wanted him to study politics and international relations as he himself had), he felt he had a good life. Then he met Jim. Cancer was a setback in Spock's plans, but it had brought them together, and having Jim in his life was worth all the setbacks in the world. Jim made him happy, truly happy, not just content. Jim was free and alive and he wasn't put off by Spock's stoic reserve. Now that he had Jim, Spock refused to let him slip away.


	13. Chapter 13

Never Alone-Chapter 13

Mrs. Grayson adored Jim, in part for his charm, but also for the positive changes he had caused in her son. Although she was somewhat surprised by the amount of time the two spent together, it didn't bother her. She didn't care who her son dated as long as he was happy-and eventually gave her grandchildren. Jim, she knew, was wonderful with children and she was certain he would want his own in future. So when she came home to find Jim lying on her couch and Spock reading on the floor beside him, their fingers intertwined and I-Chiya curled up on Jim's lap, she only laughed and invited Jim to stay for dinner.

"Spock, you didn't tell your parents about us?" Jim asked.

Spock stared at the wall above Jim's head, something he did, Jim noticed, whenever he was uncomfortable with a situation. "They knew we were spending more time together, but I wasn't sure how my father would feel. Mother hates lying to him." However, Mr. Grayson didn't seem bothered by his son's choice. Other than a mildly-surprised raised eyebrow, he offered no comment on their relationship. For a stuck-up diplomat, the man could be quite liberal.

"I assume you told your mother and Frank?" Spock had learned very quickly not to use the phrase "your parents" or any other term that implied Frank had any relationship to Jim. Frank was not, as Jim vehemently told anyone who made the mistake, his father.

"Well, I told Mom before she left, but she just laughed at me and said we would talk about it the next time she came home. And—well, Frank's an asshole so I didn't tell him." Mr. Grayson cleared his throat from the other room.

"Language, Jim."

"Oh sorry, yeah. Well, he's very closed-minded."

Spock tried not to frown. "Your mother's reaction was very strange."

Jim shrugged. "She thinks I'm going through a phase and I quote 'will come to my senses soon enough.'"

Spock's lip turned in what could only be described as a pout, and a worried pout at that.

"She believes your attraction to me is a phase?" He was clearly upset, and Jim tried to hide his laughter at his boyfriend's adorable expression.

"No, Spock. She thinks me being gay is a phase. Now, stop pouting and I'll show you that you are not a phase." Mr. Grayson cleared his throat more loudly.

"I have calculus homework to finish." Spock amended. It was Jim's turn to pout: how could anyone turn down a good cuddle and kissing for calculus?

That evening Spock drove him home around nine-thirty.

"You could still spend the night. Our guestroom is located on the first floor."

Jim rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, Spock. I'll take it slow. Besides my meds are all in my room."

"At least allow me to come up with you. I have never seen your room."

"I don't need a babysitter Spock!" Jim snapped and Spock stiffened in his seat. "Very well."

Jim immediately regretted his harsh words. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I know you're trying to help. It's just-" he sighed. "I don't want you to have to meet Frank. I'm embarrassed."

Spock pulled the car over. In a voice carefully removed from all emotion, he said, "I would not judge you based on another's actions, so there is no reason for you to be embarrassed by Frank. However, your own behavior regarding Frank concerns me. Is Frank verbally or physically abusive?"

Jim looked away, for once angry with Spock's ability to read him. Of course Spock would figure out what was happening in Jim's home. It had only been a matter of time, really, until he discovered the truth. Still, Frank was his problem and he didn't want to drag Spock into it, not if he could spare him. Looking Spock in the eyes he said, "No, of course not."

"You are lying." There was hurt in Spock's voice. "When you lie, you cease to blink. You are a very convincing liar, Jim, but you do not fool me."

This was wrong, terribly wrong. He and Spock were perfect together and now Jim was fucking it all up.

"Spock, please! I don't want you involved in this."

Spock translated that into Jimspeak for "I don't want you getting hurt."

"It's nothing I can't handle." Translation: "I'm surviving by the skin of my teeth but I am too stubborn and proud to ask for help."

Jim watched Spock staring at him with thoughtful eyes.

"Please do not ask me to leave you in a dangerous situation, because I cannot."

Jim threw up his hands in frustration ignoring the pounding in his chest. "What do you expect me to do? I don't have any place else to go!"

Quietly, so quietly Jim almost didn't hear, Spock said, "You can stay with me."

Jim stared at him and forced himself to breathe evenly. Spock had just asked him to live with him! "I have already discussed it with my parents. I have suspected your situation for some time now and my parents are agreeable to the idea. You may have the guest bedroom on the first floor. Mother would be ecstatic if you would agree."

Slowly, Jim nodded. "I, uh, I still need some stuff from my room."

"I shall accompany you and we will retrieve your things together. If you feel it is wise for me to stay away from Frank, I can enter through your back door, but you are not to go into that house alone."

They discussed things for several minutes before Spock pulled the car back onto the road. They would follow Spock's plan, despite Jim's disapproval. Spock often complained that Jim was too stubborn, but he was equally as hardheaded, especially when he believed he was acting in Jim's best interest.

Jim breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Frank snoring as he opened the door. Maybe they'd be able to get in and out without him noticing. Jim quietly shut the door and went to the rear of the house to let Spock in.

The house was small. The front door opened to the living room, which connected to a tiny kitchen and a narrow hallway leading to the washer and dryer. There were only two bedrooms and a bathroom on the second floor. Jim tried to ignore the empty bottles and cans, and the dirty dishes all over the living room. He did try to keep the house clean, but it was getting more difficult to do so. As quickly as he could manage, Jim led Spock up to his room where he collapsed on the floor.

"Bring you…in here…was a bad idea." He was breathing hard, both from the hike to his room and out of fear. He didn't think Frank would try anything with a witness, but he didn't like risking Spock's safety.

"I hope you called Dr. McCoy earlier today." Of course Spock wasn't nervous. It didn't matter, Jim would worry for him.

"I did…now help me…pack." There wasn't much worth bringing: some clothes, his dad's old watch, a picture of the brother he couldn't remember. It all fit in one bag. He also took his book bag, even though it didn't look as if he would be up to attending school the next day.

Before tiptoeing out of the house Jim wrote a brief note that Spock taped to the door for him.

_Moving out. Fuck you, asshole!_

And Jim was free.


	14. Chapter 14

Never Alone-Chapter 14

Everything seemed surreal to Jim as he dropped his duffle bag of possessions on the bed. Spock set his book bag down near the desk and entwined his fingers with Jim's. The guestroom, Jim's room, as Spock now referred to it without even trying to conceal his pleasure, was a large open room with a wide window overlooking Mrs. Grayson's garden.

"Do you like it? I am aware that a floral bedspread would not be your first choice, but I-"

Jim turned to face Spock, silencing him. "It's wonderful, I couldn't ask for more."

Satisfied Spock nodded.

"I want to pay rent. Mom sends a monthly allowance for groceries and stuff. Your parents can take that."

I-Chiya sniffed Jim's duffel bag before propelling his large frame onto the bed, where he sat staring at his young master and Jim.

"That will not be necessary."

"I know, but I don't want to feel like I'm in their debt, even though I am."

Wrapping his thin frame around Jim Spock said, "You are my welcome guest, not a burden. However," –he kissed Jim's ear, his warm breath tickling the side of Jim's face- "You can argue your case to my parents tomorrow as I know you will not let this go."

Jim grinned, "You know me so well!"

Inhaling Jim's scent, Spock said, "You are an open book to me, a rather interesting book, I might add." Jim laughed as Spock released him. Sitting on the bed, he gazed once more about the room—his room—and then back at Spock.

"Thank you."

Spock ran his hand lightly over Jim's palm in response.

Once Spock excused himself for the night, reminding Jim to call if he needed anything, Jim opened his laptop to email his mother. It took a long time to figure out what to write, despite the fact that the finished product was only a few sentences. Explaining to your mother that her husband was an abusive alcoholic and you ran away with your boyfriend wasn't easy. I-Chiya laid his large head on Jim's lap. The dog had decided to watch him for the night.

"Did Spock put you up to this?" Jim snorted; Spock would send his dog as a babysitter. He sent the email and then crawled into bed, I-Chiya on the floor beside him. The dog's soft snores filled the room as he fell asleep. Whatever his mother thought, his decision felt right. Hopefully, she would feel the same way.

There was still a little over two months of school left until Jim and Spock graduated, but as Jim shuffled to the bathroom the next morning he admitted to himself that he was not in any condition to attend. The simple act of walking from Spock's car to the front door the previous night had left him breathless. He'd collapsed in a kitchen chair to catch his breath before going to his new room. Maybe "collapse" was a little dramatic, he had just…sat down, but from the look in Spock's eyes, anyone would have thought he had fallen in a dead faint. The kid had quite the poker face, but Jim was learning to read the almost invisible signs, such as the small pull of his lips when he was amused or the little wrinkle in his brow when he was worried. Despite Spock's best efforts, he was very expressive, just in a more subtle manner than Jim. Still, if Jim couldn't attend school, he couldn't graduate and Spock's poker face couldn't change that. Dr. McCoy would have to come up with a solution.

The good doctor had wanted to see Jim yesterday when he first called, but after much grumbling and complaining, agreed to see him Friday afternoon. Spock had routine blood work each month and the labs were not far from the hospital. Since Spock was already scheduled for Friday, it made sense for Jim to see Dr. McCoy then as well. This way Jim wouldn't have to inconvenience Spock for a ride or take the bus. The bus was something both Spock and Mrs. Grayson were passionately against.

Mrs. Grayson was also passionately against taking money from Jim. After severe negotiations (and Mr. Grayson hardly spoke!) Spock's parents finally agreed to accept $150 a month. Jim would also help with household chores when he was well enough. But then they were forced to renegotiate after Winona Kirk responded to her son's email.

"Spock, she wouldn't even call me! She told me not to contact her until I was with a girl! And then she wrote 'I won't have a lying faggot for a son.'" Fighting back tears, Jim added, "and apparently Frank is too kind of a soul to do such hideous things and I owe him an apology."

Mrs. Kirk also said she would stop sending her son an allowance. I-Chiya rested his large head on Jim's leg as he swallowed his tears, Spock beside him.

"This changes nothing. I have been and always shall be yours. You are still welcome here, but no one will force you to stay." Jim found a smile in spite of his mother's rejection.

"Don't leave me."

"Never."


	15. Chapter 15

Never Alone-Chapter 15

"It's the normal progression kid. Your heart is failing and there is nothing else to it. Oxygen will help you breathe a little easier when you're moving around, but I think it's time you seriously consider a transplant." Dr. McCoy sat across from Jim, stethoscope in hand.

"You're joking, right? I have two months until I graduate, two! You have to help me get through them. I need to graduate."

McCoy was not at all helpful, sitting in his chair and shaking his head sadly. "You _will_ graduate, Jim. If it kills me, you are going to live to graduate high school." He stared Jim down, daring him to contradict him, but continued speaking before Jim had the chance. "But you're not going to make it back to school any time soon. You might have to wait until next year." Jim put his head in hands, overwhelmed. First he was forced to leave home, and now he couldn't go to school like a normal person because he was apparently in heart failure. Fucking perfect.

"No," he said.

Dr. McCoy rubbed his eyes and asked himself why he spent so much time with such a stubborn, incorrigible patient.

"Most schools provide at home instruction for cases like you; its something to look into, but you can't go back to a classroom like this. Now listen," he waited until Jim was looking at him. "You're still a minor, technically, that's good."

Jim raised his eyebrow. "Why?"

"It means you stay at the top of the donor list until you get a heart. You have a really good chance, so pay attention while I explain things to you."

Jim met Spock outside with a beeper and a prescription for an oxygen tank. When the beeper when off, no matter when or where, Jim was to drop everything and get to the hospital as quickly as he could. Spock, like McCoy was optimistic about his long-term prognosis, but all Jim saw was that he wasn't going to graduate on time. His mood wasn't improved when Spock began receiving acceptance letters from schools in the mail, some from schools that were very far away.

Jim wasn't the only one bothered by the letters. Mr. Grayson refused to discuss Spock's options. The man clearly never considered that Spock would follow a path different from his own and refused to accept that Spock might choose to do so. Dinners became filled with stony silence between father and son. Mrs. Grayson struggled to maintain peace in the house while Jim encouraged Spock to pursue his goals, even if they would carry Spock far from him.

"What's your first choice?" Jim asked one day, pulling off the plastic tubing from his nose. Spock put it back in place without comment.

"Aw, come on, it itches."

Spock ignored his whining. "Dartmouth has an excellent astrophysics program."

It was an excellent school and one of Jim's first choices, as well. It also wasn't too far away, only an hour and a half or so. Not exactly a pleasant commute, but close enough for him to take a bus and visit. "I have also found several suitable two-bedroom apartments in the area. You were looking at this school as well, correct?"

Jim gaped. "You want us—" he pointed at Spock and then himself and back to Spock, "—to get an apartment?" Spock nodded, as if their living together was no big deal. Sure they lived in the same house now, but that wasn't the same as their own apartment!

"My Father plans to 'cut me off' once I graduate high school and I do not wish to live in a dorm. In addition, you cannot apply or register until you finish high school. Assuming you want to come with me, of course." Jim kissed him, itchy tubing and all. "I will interpret that as a yes. It will be difficult, paying for school and an apartment. I have secured some academic scholarships, but they will not cover the utility bills."

"We can do it, once I have my new heart. I can get a job, get my diploma. We can do it."

Spock offered one of his small smiles.

Although Spock wouldn't speak about it, Jim knew he was badly hurt by his father's rejection. Mrs. Grayson often walked around with red, swollen eyes since her husband had promised to disown his son. She wouldn't leave her husband, but she couldn't accept his attitude toward their only son. Spock and his father were currently handling the situation with stony silence and forced politeness. Jim's heart ached to see Spock unhappy, but he also knew it was not his place to intervene, no matter how badly he wanted to.

Life continued, despite all the tension. Mr. Grayson went away for work and was gone for weeks at a time, Spock left for school each morning, Mrs. Grayson went to teach her second graders, and Jim met with his tutor for a few hours each weekday. Everyone waited for the beeper to go off.

Spock's house became the new hot spot as Jim was rarely up for going out. While all of his friends tried to pretend he wasn't sick, Jim found it hard to ignore. One Thursday night after everyone left at the end of a movie night, Jim found himself snapping at everything and everyone. Before secluding himself in his room he even yelled at Spock who approached him for their nightly game of chess, something Jim normally looked forward to.

Shortly after, there was a soft knock on his door. Jim ignored it. At the second knock, he let out a McCoy-worthy grunt and Spock stepped inside. Jim, lying on his bed, rolled onto his side facing the wall in silence. Spock sat down.

"What has upset you?"

Apparently he wasn't always an open book. Jim took no pleasure in this fact, as he would have in the past. He continued to stare at the wall until he felt Spock's weight leave the bed.

"I am sorry for disturbing you." Spock said and headed to the door.

"Don't go—I'm sorry," he rolled over to look at his boyfriend. "I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated that I can't do what I used to, what I want to. I know I shouldn't be taking it out on you."

For a long moment Spock was silent before returning to lie on the bed beside Jim. He ran a slender hand down the other's back. There were no words to make things better: to fix Jim, to make Mr. Grayson understand his son, or to bring Winona back into her son's life.


	16. Chapter 16

Never Alone-Chapter 16

They had fallen asleep together, Spock's hand resting against the small of Jim's back. It was close to three in the morning when Spock heard Jim's distress. His fingers found the lamb on the night table illuminating Jim's pale face as he took in short shallow gasps of air so constricting he couldn't speak. I-Chiya was already standing beside him emitting a lone whine. With one hand Spock pulled out his cell phone to call an ambulance, the second pressed against Jim's back to ease him into a sitting position.

"Look at me Jim, do not close your eyes." Blue eyes met brown held on for life.

Upon receiving his beeper Jim had prepared a duffel bag to bring to the hospital. It contained a set of spare clothes, a book, the long list of food and medical related allergies he possessed (the poor kid was even allergic to morphine), and Dr. McCoy's information because Jim preferred no one over the grumpy cardiac specialist. Spock remembered to take the duffel bag with him before leaving to follow the ambulance, but there was one item he needed to add. The travel chess set Jim had given him before they had started dating. There was no logical reason for binging it, but it felt right to do so.

Hours felt like days to Spock as he waited in the ER. The doctors had stabilized Jim quickly, but Spock wasn't able to see him until he was settled in a room upstairs. Just past noon Jim finally woke up to find Spock's head nodding against his chest, his hand wound with Jim's own.

"Spock?" He was hoarse, his throat dry, and his voice muffled by the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. At the soft summons Spock lifted his head,

"Jim." Jim gazed around the room then back at Spock.

"I was doing good…7months out…what happened?"

"You've got pneumonia you idiot that's what happened!" Dr. McCoy walked into the room and pushed past Spock. "This is the boyfriend you couldn't shut up about?" Jim nodded,

"Yeah."

"Stop yapping I'm trying to listen to you breath." Appalled at his language and terrible bed side manner Spock watched as McCoy gave Jim almost an entire physical.

"I saw your chest x-rays, but I wanted to look at you myself."

"Do I pass with flying colors?" McCoy sorted,

"I can hear you wheezing without the stethoscope, what do you think? You're damn near lucky! You almost went into a full arrest before I even got here, and then they wanted to start treating you penicillin!"

"I'm allergic."

"Tell me about it, damn smart of your boyfriend to remember your allergy list, probably saved your stupid life. You're too high maintenance for anyone, but me to handle! Now listen," Spock watched the doctor's show in stunned silence at his behavior. He was rude, highly emotional, and spent as much time insulting Jim as he did examining him. "You're going to be in here until this clears up, don't even think about arguing. You need to be monitored and I need to be able to do that and you need to be able to breath." Jim smiled,

"Always happy…to see you to…At least I'm here already…if a heart comes." Dr. McCoy let out a sigh, his features softening. It was a sight more terrifying than any scolding or rant he could have given instead.

"Jim, you can't receive a heart while you're sick. You wouldn't survive the surgery. You have to beat this first and you will or I'll kill you myself."

"I trust you….not to let…me die in peace."

"Always kid, now shut up and rest. And you," he turned to Spock, "what's with that haircut? Did your mother do that? Ah well you did good today. Visiting hours end at nine." With that he left the room.

"Is he always so," Spock had to stop and search for the right word, "rough?"

"He's got a heart…of gold and he's the best….at what he does." Spock's hand found Jim's,

"If you trust him then I will as well."

Author's Note: I know its short, but the next chapter will be longer. Think quality over quanity until then ;)


	17. Chapter 17

Never Alone-Chapter 17

Never before had Spock been faced with keeping a beside vigil, in the past he had always been the one in the bed and he did not like his change in roles. It wasn't a pleasant sight to see Jim tied to a bed by equipment and medicine that would save his life. The oxygen mask over his face, an IV that ran into his farm, wires from his chest to a monitor. The most frightening aspect of the situation was Jim's lack of protest. For the boy who found nasal tubes to be 'itchy' the tubing and wiring here should drive him insane, but not one complaint left James Kirk's lips.

Spock came by each day after school and stayed until someone forced him to leave. When Jim was up to it they talked or played chess. Jim agreed with Spock that taking the small travel chess set was an ingenious idea and was upset he had not thought to do so first. Three days passed in that manner with Jim on heavy-duty antibiotics before the fever hit. The fever came and took for itself Jim's appetite and most of his waking hours.

"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a babysitter. I can't force food down your throat, but if you don't eat I will force a feeding tube down there so help me. You can't afford to get any weaker." Glowering and with a voice far too feeble to support his argument Jim said,

"I'm not weak."

"Then prove me wrong, I dare you." Jim tried, he fought and Spock was there at each step holding his hand and Spock was there three days after the fever's arrival when Dr. McCoy was forced to put Jim on a feeding tube.

"It's alright kid, you lost a battle, not the war."

Spock wanted to skip school, it was nearing the end of term, he could afford to do so, but neither his parents, nor Jim when he was awake, would hear of it. Their whims, while in he's best interest, where entirely illogical. Jim was growing weaker by the minuet and Dr. McCoy had even reluctantly admitted it was no longer a question of if Jim's heart would fail, but when. Yet they expected him to divert his attention from the most important person in his life to school work. No one could be expected to focus on academics when faced with such a prognosis.

James Kirk couldn't die, Spock refused to accept that possibility even as it stared him in the face. Tragically, denying the gravity of Jim's situation did not put the odds in his favor. There was nothing he could do to support Jim, but he still refused to let Jim fight alone. Jim was no longer alone and if, not when, his heart fails he would not be alone. Spock remained in the room with Jim until the fever broke. His presence was as constant as the beeping of the heat monitory, steady and fighting.

The fever lasted an additional five days. It was a large, but short lived victory when the fever finally did break. Jim's rapidly thinning frame was shaking with coughs and each breath was a tremendous effort. It was another weak before Jim won the war.

Once again Jim awoke to find Spock asleep, this time with the brunette's head resting on his legs, his hand tangled tightly in Jim's. With his free hand Jim reaches over to stroke Spock's silky dark hair ignoring the annoying tug from the IV tubing pulling at his arm. Jim wondered if his doctor thought he was going to make an escape once he woke up. Jim snorted picturing the doctor using all his 'medicines' as restraints to tie him to the bed.

The noise startled Spock awake, his normally perfect hair now ruffled in a sloppy, but adorable, bedhead. Jim noticed the dark bags under his eyes indicating he hadn't been sleeping enough. None of this bothered Spock whose eyes lit up when they fell upon Jim awake and alert.

"Jim," for a moment he seemed loss for words, "I have missed you." Exhausted Jim tried to piece his memories together. Try as he might he couldn't figure out how much time had passed while he had been incoherent with the fever or unconscious.

"How long have I been out?"

"Two weeks, I should go inform Dr. McCoy you are awake."

"Wait," he squeezed Spock's hand before Spock could pull it away, "Day and time?"

"It is May first, a Wednesday, and, "he glanced the clock on the wall, "one thirty in the afternoon."

"May first?" He had lost half of April. "May first, a Wednesday. Spock why aren't you in school?" Judging by the pointed stare Spock was giving him Jim realized he must have just asked a very stupid question with an obvious answer.

"You have been ill, I will not leave you alone when you need me. However once Dr. McCoy assures me you are out of immediate danger I will be gone for a few hours tomorrow to complete my final exams." Torn between affection for Spock and annoyance at his actions Jim was torn between scolding him for ignoring his own needs and a desire to wrap his around his stubborn boyfriend. Too tired to do either he just said,

"For a genius you're a stubborn fool."

"I have had the opportunity to observe and learn from the best. Now please wait while I inform your doctor you are awake."

It was only a few minutes before McCoy, positively beaming, walked into the room.

"About time, you had me pretty worried there kid."

"Aw, I didn't realize you cared." McCoy snorted,

"If you're making jokes you must be feeling better."

-Page break!-

"You know a nurse already came in here and took my blood pressure." Dr. McCoy bristled like an agitated cat.

"Listen here, I'm your damn doctor and do what I please. What I please is to make sure for myself that you don't drop dead as soon as I walk out the door. God I liked you better when you were unconscious."

"It's only been one day." The good doctor was such an entertaining grump and with Spock at school taking his finals Jim was deprived of entertainment. "And it's not really possible for me to 'drop dead' when I'm lying in a bed."

"Don't be a smart ass." Shooting Jim a threatening glare McCoy sat down in Spock's usual chair. "Jim this was a really close call and you're not exactly in fighting shape at the moment either. You're back on the transplant list, but you could get a heart today or not for a few more weeks." He looked at Jim with concern, but not pity. That was another reason Jim liked his doctor, he was kind, compassionate, brilliant at his job, and he never pitied Jim. The world was cruel and life was hard. Everyone had their own shit to deal with. McCoy understood that, he just wanted to put the broken people together so they had a fighting chance. "You don't have months, Jim, weeks are pushing it. We're fighting a race against time, but I don't intend to lose and neither should you." Jim turned his head to the side looking at the clock on the wall,

"I'm dying." It was a statement, not a question.

"We're all dying, but with that," he pointed at Jim's chest, "that heart you got now you could be heading out sooner than the rest of us. You need to know what you're up against, but don't give up." Jim laughed causing McCoy to briefly wonder if have to call in the psych department.

"I'm not going anywhere without a fight."


	18. Chapter 18

Author's note: I personally love this chapter ^_^ and I hope you enjoy it.

Never Alone-Chapter 18

When Spock walked in with a cheeseburger, french-fries, and a small vanilla shake Jim knew he truly had the perfect boyfriend.

"Dr. McCoy agreed you could have this only as a treat, something to 'bring back your appetite'." Jim nodded without listening too enticed by his milkshake to care what the doctor said.

"Spock I love you."

"Do you mean that?" Jim looked up, a french-fry half way to his mouth, realizing what he had just said. They had been together for only four months, friends for almost a year, but they had never said 'I love you' before. Four months wasn't a long time, but so much happened to them in such a short period of time since they had first met. Jim hadn't planned on saying 'I love you', but once he said it he realized with mild surprise that it was true.

"Yes, I do. I love you and it's not the french-fries talking," he joked. It must have been his imagination, but he swore he could hear a slight acceleration in the beeping of the heart monitor. He needed to have someone shut the volume off. Spock nodded, he didn't smile, but Jim noticed his eyes light up.

"I love you Jim, you are my most precious one."

"Come here." Spock moved closer to the bed, "Closer." He leaned down, his face level with Jim's. Jim kissed him.

Never in a million years would Jim have predicted that the best moment of his life, the best day, would occur in a hospital. Of course he never predicted Spock waltzing into his life either. While Spock kissed him back with just as much passion he showed more self-control than Jim liked. Jim wanted Spock, all of him, but Spock pulled away and replaced the oxygen mask Jim had discarded in favor of french-fries and kissing back over his face where it belonged. A solid barrier between their lips. Jim tried to pout, but Spock stubbornly ignored him insisting Jim needed to finish his lunch and rest. As expected Spock was right (wasn't he always right?), between his talk with McCoy and his confession to Spock Jim was exhausted. He only ate half of his burger before succumbing to sleep.

Spock was still there when Jim woke up, quietly reading a book.

"I'm pretty boring company, huh?" Spock looked up and closed his book.

"Quite the contrary, there is nothing 'boring' about you." Jim snorted,

"Even here?"

"The quiet atmosphere is an interesting change of pace." Jim scoffed,

"I'm expressive, it's an endearing quality."

"If that is what you wish to believe my previous, _endearing_, one." Satisfied and looking a little too pleased with himself Jim nodded,

"You got it."

"Remarkable there are others who must find the quality endearing." Jim puzzled over Spock's expression trying to decide if his boyfriend was teasing him in his own subtle yet adorable way.

"Oh?"

"Yes," Spock tilted his head ever so slightly, "are you surprised there are others who care about you?" Without waiting for an answer from Jim he continued, "While you have been incapacitated you friends have started a fundraiser for the hospital in your honor. Everyone who donates is given a 'Support Healthy Hearts' pin. He reached under his chair for his book bag and pulled out three identical round red pins. "I donated for myself, you, and Dr. McCoy."

In later years Jim would deny it or blame his actions on stress or medications, but no excuse changed the fact that tears where forming in his blue eyes threatening to spill onto the crisp white sheets. Alarmed Spock shoved the pins back into his bag and reached for Jim's hand.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to upset you."

"No Spock," Jim shook his head, "It's just, they're…no one has ever done anything so kind for me before."

"You have touched many lives Jim and they wish for you to know how much they care about you." They were silent for a few moments, appreciating each other's mutual love and acceptance.

"There is more."

"More?"

"Yes, your friends-"

"You know they're your friends to."

"Our friends," Spock amended, "have made a short video for you. If you give me a moment I will show it to you." Spock pulled his laptop out of his book bag. Jim was beginning to think the bag was magic with all the goods Spock had managed to produce from within it. Spock let his computer up on the end of the bed.

"_You have to hold the camera still, lad." _It was Monty, surrounded by Hikaru, Gaila, Chrisine, and Janice.

"_Cameras," _Pavel's disembodied voice spoke,_ "are a Russian invention and it is wery steady!" _The picture dropped from the group's faces to their legs and back. Evidently Pavel did not inherent the Russian talent for cameras.

"_Oh give it to me Pavel, hi Jim!" _Gaila waved at the camera before snatching it from Pavel and shoving how towards the group. What followed was mostly arguing and laughter mingled with get well wishes ( and a few get well threats). Jim laughed before rewinding the video to watch it a second time. This time he noticed that Hikaru and Pavel where holding hands.

"They would like to visit you, but they seem to be under the impression that doing so would displease you." Jim looked down at his legs to avoid Spock's eyes, pinching the sheets between his fingers.

"I know they do, but I don't want them to see me like this."

"Like what Jim?" He took Jim's hand in his own and with the other lifted the blonde's chin until their eyes met. He looked at Jim expectantly and waited.

"Like I'm weak, like I can't take care of myself." Shaking his head side to side Spock said,

"Jim you are one of the strongest people I know. Everyone needs help from time to time. Your friends know this and as you once told me they will not care if you are sick or even if you were 'weak'." Their faces were so close Jim could feel Spock's warm breath on his face. "I did not fall in love with you for your strength. I fell in love with you for your kindness, your compassion, and your ability to make others smile. I imagine you friends find you to be admirable for similar reasons."

"Spock…" Jim felt his boyfriends warm lips on his forehead.

"Think about it."

Before Spock left for the night they made plans to invite their friends to visit for short periods. Apparently Dr. McCoy was being very lenient with Spock's extended visits.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I love constructive criticism so please keep it coming! I'm sorry for the wait in between updates. School has started up again so I'm a little busy. Also special thanks to Romanse for helping with the editing!

Never Alone-Chapter 19

"Jim, wake up hun, its time." Still groggy with sleep her words didn't register to Jim. Nurses were always popping in and out of his room at all hours of the night. This happened every time he was in the hospital. "Jim, you're getting a heart. Jim!" She sighed, "Spock's here."

"Sp'ck?" The seventeen-year old opened his eyes to search the room. Exasperated with his one track mind (focused solely on Spock), Chapel started preparing him to move. Despite her exasperation she was excited for him. She had known Jim since she first began working at the hospital eight years ago and had become rather fond of him over the years.

"No, he's not here, but I'll call him. You're going to pre-op, you're getting a heart." Jim was awake now and gleaming with excitement. She was moving around his bed with incredible speed as she spoke, "Yes, it's being flown in by helicopter. Dr. McCoy is on his way. It will be here within the hour." Before Jim had a chance to fully the process the situation he was being wheeled down the hall.

"Are you excited, Jim?" It was the question everyone was asking him as they prepped him for surgery.

"Is Spock here?" Dr. McCoy came to see him before he scrubbed in.

"He's out in the waiting room, now relax. You nervous?"

"No, I'm not alone anymore." The doctor smiled and squeezed his shoulder,

"No Jim, you're not alone."

0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

Hours felt like days to Spock as he sat in the waiting area, his hands clasped so tightly his knuckles shined white. He had rushed to the hospital as soon as he received Nurse Chapel's call. His mother had insisted on driving claiming he was too 'emotional' to drive. Despite his initial annoyance her presence was comforting, and unlike Spock she didn't have to force herself to sit still. Observing her sitting calmly in her chair reading, Spock concluded that keeping a bedside vigil was an acquired skill.

Thinking of his own mother reminded him of Wionna Kirk. Had anyone called her? They had called Spock, but he was under the impression that was at Jim's request. Jim would want her to know what was happening. More for a distraction than anything else Spock decided to find out. Unfortunately it didn't take too long to find out that she had been called, but did not answer her phone and that a message had been left. It was entirely possible she was out at open sea with no service, or unable to answer because she was currently on duty, but that knowledge didn't comfort Spock. The woman had refused any communication with Jim once she was informed he had moved in with Spock's family. Even when Jim had been on his death bed mere days ago she had not bothered to contact him, let alone come home to be with her son. Her complete lack of devotion was infuriating; a mother abandoning her own child. The situation shouldn't feel so foreign, Spock's father had promised to sever all contact after graduation which was only a few days away. Would Sarek Grayson ignore his own son even if he was dying?

"Spock?" Amanda looked up at her son as he returned to the waiting area. "Is everything okay?"

"No, the hospital has been unable to reach Jim's mother." Mrs. Grayson frowned briefly before giving her son a reassuring smile. "She wouldn't be able to come today even if they did get in touch with her. Be thankful Jim isn't alone, he has you."

Spock nodded, slightly pacified. "I should inform his-our friends on the situation."

"Does Jim want them to know?"

Thinking back on their earlier conversation Spock said, "Yes, I think he would them to know." He called Gaila first who then took it upon herself to organize the 'Jim Kirk information hotline'. Spock found himself resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the name, but was relieved that someone else would handle all the phone calls. The hotline soon turned into a carpool as Hikaru drove the small group of friends to the hospital.

"You should have called us sooner, Spock." Spock blinked in surprise as Janice scolded him. He offered an apology as the others sat down to wait for news and wondered how they had all managed to get inside. He had thought only family was allowed to wait here, but hospital regulations had not deterred any of Jim Kirk's friends.

0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0

It was several hours before Dr. McCoy stepped into the waiting room. He gazed at the assortment of teenagers and snorted softly to himself. "He really wasn't alone."

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that doctor?" Spock was on his feet, hands clasped behind his back. He was making a good attempt to hide his concern and fear, but no one was fooled. Everyone knew how much he cared for Jim.

"You can relax, Jim made it through without a hitch, textbook perfect. We'll move him to a recovery room shortly and then you can see him." The doctor tried and failed not to smile as the small group cheered. "Keep it down, this is a hospital not an amusement park! And don't go getting him all worked up either. You can see him one at a time." He walked away grumbling halfheartedly about hooligans in his hospital. The hooligans were too busy celebrating to pay the grumpy doctor any attention.


	20. Chapter 20

Never Alone-Chapter 20

No one argued when Spock requested to be the first to visit Jim: it was he did walk into the recovery room Jim, his Jim, was sitting up wide awake with his piercing blue eyes gazing into Spock's own chocolate brown orbs.

"Jim." Spock closed the distance between them in a few strides and cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands.

"Spock, I'm fine, I'm better than fine." He pulled Spock's hands away from his face and put them against his chest. "See?" Spock felt Jim's heartbeat, it was faster than normal, but that was expected with a transplanted heart, and it was strong and steady. He held is hand on top of Jim's chest trying to reassure himself Jim was okay, that it was really his new heart beating. To reassure himself that Jim was no longer dying. "You okay?" Jim looked into Spock's face concerned that his boyfriend seemed to have lost the ability to speak, move, and respond to stimulus of any kind.

Nodding Spock removed his hands, "I am…relieved."

Jim laughed, "Me to, buts it's sort of weird." Spock raised an eyebrow. "I mean yesterday I couldn't get out of bed and today McCoy says I'll probably be home in like two weeks."

Now Spock understood. "It it's a sudden development, but a pleasing one." Jim nodded,

"McCoy won't tell me where the heart came from, some kind of confidentiality thing."

"Does that bother you?" Spock was running his hand through Jim's hair now, as if afraid if he stopped touching Jim he might disappear.

"No, but, I think I should find the donor's family, say thank you or something."

"I would imagine the donor's family is grieving for their loss and most likely does not wish to be disturbed, hence the confidentiality. As for expressing your gratitude, I believe that is best done by simply living your life to the fullest."

In awe, Jim started at Spock, "How do you know always exactly what I need to hear?"

"Because Jim, you are an open book."

"Open book my ass, come here." Their lips where locked together when Gaila poked her head inside insisting Spock had visited long enough and it was her turn. "Gaila?"

"Hey Jimmy babe." She smiled sweetly before pushing Spock towards the door. "Spock you have to learn to share Jim."

Spock twisted around Gaila and returned to Jim's side. "I called to let them know you were in surgery and they took it upon themselves to come and support you. However if you are not up to entertaining guests I am sure they will understand." He started pointedly at Gaila before looking back at Jim.

Jim realized Spock was giving him a way out, a way to politely send his friends away. Spock knew Jim was still uncomfortable being seen as 'vulnerable' and 'weak'.

"Who is they?" Jim asked.

Gaila took a seat on the bed still smiling like she had won the lottery, "Everyone, Hikaru, Pav, Monty, Janice, and me! You're not mad are you Jim, that we came without asking first?" She blinked up at him, her red hair falling around her face, the smile turning into a worried pout.

Nine months ago, before he had met Spock, before he realized just how loved he was, Jim would have been angry. He would have thrown Gaila out of his room without a second thought, but now he was too happy to be angry. Too happy that he had Spock, too happy that he had friends who would do so much for him, too happy that he was finally going to be able to live his life the way he wanted. "No, Gaila, I'm not mad, I missed you guys." She beamed before going into a detailed description of everything that had happened at school while he had been in the hospital until it was Hikaru's turn to visit.

0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.0.o.

"You need to leave." Spock did not look up from their chess board. It had been almost a week since the transplant and Jim was going to be released in just a few days.

"Visiting hours do not end until nine pm." Jim rolled his eyes and moved his bishop.

"No, but seniors need to be at their graduation ceremony in less than two hours and you still have to go home and grab your gown, take pictures, the whole shebang."

Still staring intently at the board Spock said, "Come August you and I will have our own apartment and I will no longer be in contact with my family. Graduation ceremonies are mostly for the benefit of the family and I see no reason to indulge my father this gift."

His voice never faltered, he could have been talking about the weather, but Jim could see Spock was very plainly upset. "Spock, you're the valedictorian you have to go. You have a speech! As for your Dad, you know he loves you. He's just not good at showing it. He's trying to protect you in his own way."

"By throwing me out of the house?" Spock captured one of Jim's pawns.

"He's thinks he's going to force you to follow a more successful career path. He's a stubborn ass, but he is doing it because he thinks it will help you."

"He should show his 'love' by supporting my decisions. Astrophysics is not only an intellectually demanding field of study, but it also provides me with a variety of career options."

Jim moved another pawn forward. "You're right, he's an idiot, but he is going to be out in the audience supporting you today. Don't you want one last happy memory with him? Life is short, we both know that, and you don't know what tomorrow could bring."

Spock finally lifted his gaze from the board. "You believe I should attend the ceremony in order to experience an emotional moment of family bonding?" He took Jim's knight.

"I _believe _you should do whatever you want. I _know _that if I was walking with you tonight I would want my family there. My family wouldn't come even if I asked, but your family is going to be there. And you know your mom wants to see you walk across that stage. She isn't abandoning you and you know she'll never forgive your dad for what he's doing. Are you going to punish her by not going? Checkmate."

Spock looked down at the board acting as if he was trying to figure out how Jim managed to beat him with seemingly random moves and no apparent strategy. Several minutes passed before he moved again. "I will go," he said standing up, "but Jim you do have family who would come to your graduation." He placed a kiss gently on Jim's forehead. "You are not alone, do not forget that."

Jim smiled. "Make sure your mom takes plenty of pictures for me!"


	21. Chapter 21 Epilogue

Never Alone-Epilogue

It had been a year since the transplant; Jim had finished high school and was able to register for university in time for the Spring semester. He and Spock had settled into their small apartment and started building their new life together. It wasn't easy, they each had a full course load on top of their part time jobs leaving little time for leisure. Still they were together and they were getting by. Mrs. Grayson's bi-weekly care packages made getting by a bit easier.

Jim picked up a part time job as a bartender once his eighteenth birthday passed. He made minimum wage plus tips. It wasn't glamorous, but it covered the heating bill, which was important because Spock was always cold if the apartment wasn't kept at a toasty seventy degrees or higher. Bartending also had the added benefit of free drinks when he turned twenty-one, not that he didn't try to take advantage of the bar's hospitality now.

The hours where good to, he took classes during the day and worked in the evenings, and each morning he and Spock went for a jog (to slowly work Jim back into peak physical condition). Originally Jim had chosen a field of study involving space as Spock had, but Jim was finding that aeronautics was not as exciting as he believed it would be. His interest where drifting towards planetary astronomy. How man got to the stars wasn't important to Jim, it was what was in the stars that really mattered.

Jim was happy, in Spock he had found someone who not hurt him as Frank had and would not leave him as his mother and brother had. He knew that his new heart might not last for thirty years, it most likely wouldn't last more than fifteen years, and there was also a chance Spock's cancer could return, but they had both beat the odds once and they could do it again.

They had each other and that was enough for Jim who was ready to leave his dysfunctional family behind, but not for Spock. The sting of his father's rejection was still smarting. It probably always would, but as Jim had once told him 'life was short' and 'you don't know what tomorrow could bring'. Spock held onto a hope that he would earn his father's approval.

Life wasn't perfect, but they would never be alone.

Author's Note: I can't believe it's over! This was my first multi-chapter fanfic and I had a great time writing it. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it. In the future I may come back to this story and do some tweaking and polishing, but not for a while. So once again thank you for following 'Never Alone'


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